2016/17, Episode 11 - Wolfson vs SOAS

If you haven’t already you can watch the episode here before reading the review:

The School of Oriental and African Studies of the University of London, who I will refer to with the far snappier acronym SOAS from now on, are making only their fourth appearance of the Paxman-Era, but they reached the quarter-finals on two of those occasions, losing to Somerville in the semis on their most recent showing in 2014, so they do have a certain pedigree.

They’re no strangers to Cambridge either, having been relocated from the capital in the midst of WWII, taking up residence in Christ’s College, whom they played (and roundly trounced) in the 2006 series. What a way to repay their generous landlords in one of only five Cambridge colleges that has a swimming pool.

During the war they were tasked with combatting the shortage of Japanese speakers on the British Isles, but were thwarted by the Bletchley Park Code and Cypher School who thought they were simply too slow, and swanned in to take the operation over themselves. Alan Turing was obviously not one to suffer fools lightly . If they’re going to beat one of the rivals of their wartime home they’ll have to be quicker on the buzzer than they were at teaching Japanese in the 1940s.

Wolfson, (seen below with the head of reserve member Louis Ashworth as their mascot) have only appeared once in the Paxman Era narrowly losing a first round match to Sussex in 2004. The college was founded as ‘University College’ in 1965, and they can thank rich dude Sir Isaac Wolfson for giving both his vast surpluses of wealth and his infinitely cooler name to their cause. His son Leopold became Lord Wolfson, who sounds like a half-man half-beast contemporary of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and who likely roams the University courtyards at night, hunting careless undergraduates to take home to his lair and devour.

Anyway, last week’s match was such an enthralling affair that tonight had a lot to do to come anywhere close to the levels of excitement. Could it deliver?

It becomes immediately apparent that Wolfson captain Eric Monkman shares a terrifying and visceral tenacity with lupine creature I’ve been hypothesising about, shouting the answer to the first starter at Paxman with all the intensity of an Anthony Joshua uppercut. It would be the first of many raised voices from the Canadian, and Wolfson have a lead of 40 to minus 5 before you can yell ‘DISCWORLD!’ at the top of your voice.

Somehow the scores end up at 30-30 by the first picture round, which is again on islands, though it lacks the social poetry of last week’s ‘Twitter thinking a dude thought Ireland was in the Baltic Sea’ moment. Monkman does do his best to provide one of his own, suggesting that the fall of the Berlin Wall was the loudest sound in recorded history, in 1883… Though one suspects that, like Boyle last week, he didn’t really think that. But at this point you do think he may be losing it, with another premature buzz on the next question, trying to steal an answer on Oriental China from SOAS. Not so, third time lucky on the next starter, redemption tastes like a right answer, and Wolfson are 40 points clear again at the second picture round

The match up until this point had been exciting, the lead already swapping places almost as many times as incorrect interruptions were being penalised, which was a great deal, but it was at this stage, with the scores poised at 130-90 in Wolfson’s favour that it ascended int other upper echelon of an all time classic.

60 points in just over two minutes of relentless answering gave SOAS the lead, which they then endeavoured to throw away by taking up the Wolfson tactic of buzzing early with wrong answers (never a good tactic) and by this stage Wolfson had switched tactics anyway. They’d adopted the ‘answer bonus questions as quickly as possible or risk your puppy being thrown into a pool of lava’ tactic and Monkman was spraying out five pointers like a machine gun on cocaine.

Wolfson have the lead. Twenty points ahead with twenty eight seconds on the clock (yes, I did the math). Surely unassailable? But I’ve watched Arsenal surrender a 4-0 lead to Newcastle after sixty eight minutes so I know anything is possible, in football as it is in quizzing. SOAS captain Edwards gets a question after four words, which causes a noise to erupt from my throat which I cannot be sure belonged to a human.

Ten points behind. Twenty seconds to go.

Questions on Greek mythology. Greece is somewhere in the middle of Africa and the Orient. Unfortunate. So close, yet so far, but they struggle on. Castor and Pollux.

Five points behind. Thebes. Zero points behind, level, and by my watch the tying points came 2.88 seconds before the gong.

Ladies and Gentlemen we have a deadlock. Not seen since 2013. A single question shootout for University Challenge glory. By this stage SOAS, Edwards has six correct starters, as does Wolfson, Monkman. Head to head. Brain to brain. Lifetimes are made in moments like this. Songs sung and blogs written.

Step forward Wolfson, Chaudhri. In the match so far? A musical 10 pointer on Elgar and a five point penalty for Ptolemy. But boy does he know his animal phyla. Mollusc. A word made eternal, delivered with such nonchalance, and Wolfson progress to the next round. We will see SOAS in the repechage, two great teams tonight, and the best episode in a long while.

Final Score: Wolfson, Cambridge 185 - 175 SOAS

The end credits brought with them the sad news of the passing of SOAS team member David Bostock. He played a magnificent game and wore his glasses as I hope to wear my glasses in later life. May he rest in peace.