2016/17, Episode 23 - Oriel vs Bristol

If you haven't already you can watch the episode here before reading this post:

2016, the year that became a meme and an adjective, has come to its logical conclusion after 366 days (it was a leap year too, people tend to forget that) and three weeks on from Balliol’s thrashing of Robinson College we have our first match of the new one (2017, for those of you unfamiliar with linear chronology)

Under normal circumstances, three weeks without UC might have been like being trapped in a darkened maze, constantly moving but with no idea how many hedges you’re going to bump into. But the BBC kindly provided us with a torch to help minimise the number of leaves in our collective hair.

I considered reviewing the Christmas series, but a combination of food lethargy and G&T energy would have rendered anything written somewhere between the manuscript of a Trump speech (in terms of coherence not content) and an Elvish translation of Lord of the Rings.

But having finally caught up with the final today I can see that I would have been writing pretty much the same thing every episode (and yes, I know thats basically what I do here). Paxman, who’s had his reptilian tongue sheathed for large portions of the student series, had his work cut out dealing with these supposed graduates who didn’t quite seem to grasp the rules.

Not an episode went by without at least one blatant attempt at conferring on a starter question. Occasionally one contestant would hold a palm up to a conspiratorial neighbour, “Talk to the hand, because it would literally be illegal for the face to listen”, but generally Paxman had to shut them down with an exasperated cry of “SOLO EFFORTS, PLEASE!”, before any illicit answers could be shared.

And thats not to mention the epidemic of people buzzing in to answer bonus questions, which while not strictly against the rules was just a bit bizarre. Paxman dutifully recites the rules at the start of the show and I’m sure some of them must have seen the show before so I don’t know whats so hard to understand. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in the student show, but these old jokers couldn’t get enough of it.

The series wasn’t totally filled with gaffs though, and we saw what I, and others in the UC Twitter community believe to have been the first all female match in the history of the Challenge as St Anne’s took on St Hilda’s in the semi finals. And when St Hilda’s, lead by Val McDiarmid defeated Leeds in the final we had our first ever all female series champions.

I said in a previous edition that the lack of female representation on the student series could be attributed in part to a lack of women attending the trials for their institutions, but hopefully St Hilda’s victory can inspire more people to sign up and bring us closer to the (slightly) improved ratio seen on this celebrity series.

However, reading through the University Challenge hashtag on Twitter there was an atrocious number of vulgar and derogatory comments aimed mainly at Bristol’s superb captain Alice Clarke. I think its fair to assume that the type of person who’d be interested in going on UC would be the type of person to watch it. And if you were to watch the show and see an excellent performance from a woman only to go on the internet and read such horrible comments completely irrelevant to said performance its not exactly going to make it seem like an appealing thing to put yourself through.

Obviously there were a great deal of positive posts as well, but its far easier to discourage than it is to encourage, so I encourage you to call out the heinousness if you ever come across it. Its a small drop in a big ocean, but with enough stones waves can be made.

Clarke and her Bristol quartet were last seen in the far reaches of Summer, when David Cameron was still Prime Minister, and a lot has changed since their convincing victory over Sheffield in July, in which they scored the equal third highest score of the round. Oxfordian opponents Oriel dispatched a mediocre Manchester side with efficiency while not exactly setting the world alight. They’ll be hoping for some fireworks if they’re to progress.

Paxman introduced Oriel with reference to an incorrect answer of Cole Porter their Rasputin lookalike Alec Siantonas had made in the first round. He was obviously so appalled that it affected him long after it had been made.

And I don’t know if someone told Siantonas’ neighbour Monaghan that school uniform was required in the second round but he turned up in an Oriel hoodie.

The attire didn’t help them out to begin with as Bristol raced into a 50-0 lead thanks to starters from Rolleston and Tomsett, giving Oriel something to chase if they hoped to reach the quarter finals.

University Challenge prides itself on its highbrow question selections, but even if you don’t pay that much attention you can see that the range is fairly narrow. In literature, if you brushed up on Dickens, Austen and Shakespeare (admittedly no small task) you’d have a fairly decent chance of getting questions on them, and getting those questions right. Perhaps a greater variety, on all topics too, would add an extra pinch of spice to proceedings.

In addition, if a starter question on South America were to be incorrectly answered with Brazil, then all the other team need to to snatch it would be to buzz in nonchalantly with Argentina and they’d receive ten points, unless for example the question asked which country Quito was the capital of.

Conversely, I’ll discuss an answer which hasn’t come up on UC very often: ‘gymnosperm’. The final of the Christmas series had a bonus set on a Washington Post competition which assigns new meanings to existing words (e.g Flatulance: an emergency vehicle that picks you up after you’ve been run over by a steam roller). A gymnosperm is a plant of a group that comprises those that have seeds unprotected by an ovary or fruit, but in the spirit of the WP contest I’d like to suggest a neologism of my own - gymnosperm: a bodybuilder who has reduced their fertility through the use of steroids (someone please tell me if this works, or if its just a bit strange)

Bristol continued their good start, and Oriel did offer some resistance up until just after the halfway point, when the scores were at 75-150, leaving them with a slight chance at resurrection, but Bristol slammed that door shut, routing the Oxford quartet 115 to -5 in the closing moments. They look a team to be reckoned with in the quarter finals, with the highest combined total of the seven teams to reach that stage so far.

Final Score: Bristol 265 - 70 Oriel

Congrats to Bristol, and commiserations to Oriel, who can their heads high, though not too high. Next week we have Corpus Christi vs Peterhouse in the last second round before the first QF match, which if my prediction is correct promises to be a cracker. Thanks for reading