2016/17, Episode 34 - Balliol vs Corpus Christi

If you haven’t already you can watch the episode here before reading the review:

We’ve had plenty of Oxbridge matches this series, and even a few Cam-Cams, but this is the first double Ox, which is a shame, because of the three options given to us its the one which is most evocative of two bulls charging at each other while Jeremy Paxman stands in the middle yelling something about opera.

It will be the only Ox-Ox match as well, with the other three semi final places having already been claimed by Edinburgh and two Cambridge colleges, Emmanuel and Wolfson. Whoever prevails will be bidding to bring the famous trophy back their home city for the first time since 2011, with their bitter rivals from the East having defeated them in each of the past three finals.

Balliol are riding high following their two hundred point victory over Birmingham in their last appearance a couple of weeks ago, whereas we haven’t seen Corpus since a sorry fifty five point haul in a limp surrender to Bobby Seagull’s Emmanuel. However, this is University Challenge, and anything can happen, although we do already know that Oxford will win, and that the semi finals will be at least 81% male.

We could have also, after his 100 point showing last time out, said that Balliol’s Goldman would be a good bet to get the first starter this week too, and he duly delivered, coming in with ‘Ludwig’ so early that you didn’t even have time to think of a German name to guess in earnest at the TV.

Lloyd took the next starter for the Oxonians, (oh wait that doesn’t work this week… the Balliolites?) then whispered two bonuses to Goldman, who gives them to Paxman with a stoic nod, as if he had known them himself already, but wanted to give his teammate a chance to shine. This notion is bundled out the window pretty quickly though, as on the next question he whispers the answer to himself, then doesn’t wait for any sort of confirmation before passing it on.

Pope takes the third ten pointer, remembering the word ‘eutrophic’ despite having clearly forgotten to do up the final two buttons on his shirt, leaving a few tufts of hair to poke their hairy noses out. If he’d been testing out a new super-macho persona, it quickly unraveled the moment he said the word ‘eutrophic’, if indeed it hadn’t already been unraveled by the mere idea of him being a contestant on University Challenge.

Potts fails to take the fourth, making a mockery of my planned paragraph about how the Balliol quartet had each answered one of the first four starter questions, like a spirit level made of brains. But I’ve still written it, so I guess there was no harm done there.

Wright gets Corpus off the mark, identifying the flag of Greenland with a tone of voice that suggests that he’s just noticed Pope’s exposed chest and is rather horrified by it. This is the only correct reaction when you have just noticed Pope’s exposed chest.

Venkatesh gets his first of the night, then Pope his second (through a question featuring the vernal equinox, on this, the vernal equinox) before Potts finally decides to chip in. Its too late, my friend. Too late. Goldman doesn’t waste any time on the bonuses though, manically yelling ‘The Sea The Sea The Sea’ at Paxman, which would have been quite weird if it hadn’t been the correct answer.

Balliol manage to keep Corpus at bay for most of the match, but with Emma Johnson leading the charge, the Oxonians (oh wait that doesn’t work this week… the Corpuscles?) get to within forty points going into the last few minutes.

If they had gotten the next lingustics starter Balliol may have been rattled, and who knows what could have happened, but Goldman took it, and glottal stopped (my deepest, deepest apologies) the comeback just before it could be completed.

With the match won, Pope took his third starter of the night, somehow guessing which letter a word began with before the word had even been described. Did he just guess the ‘A’, or did he go full James McAvoy in Starter for Ten? Or am I missing an obvious series of connections? Its probably the last last thing. (EDIT: yes, I was missing something. Managed to miss the fact all three words began with the same three letters despite rewatching the question five times. I’ll leave this in anyway, just to showcase my eternal quest to find controversy where none exists)

Corpus took a few more questions, but Balliol had enough in reserve to see them off in the highest scoring match of the series so far

Final Score: Corpus, Ox 160 - 240 Balliol, Ox

Commiserations to Corpus, who will always have the Quarter Finals to look back on. And well done to Balliol, who look forward to the Semis, the line ups of which are now confirmed.

27 March - Emmanuel, Cam vs Wolfson, Cam (Seagull vs Monkman!) &

3 April - Edinburgh vs Balliol, Ox

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next week for the match of the century