2016/17, Grand Final - Wolfson vs Balliol

Our journey began nine months ago when the Universities of Bristol and Sheffield locked horns in the first of many excellent clashes. Sheffield became the first of twenty six teams to take the slow train home. Bristol would join them after making it to the quarter-finals, losing out to a last minute answer from Warwick’s Sophie Rudd in a thrilling encounter.

Warwick themselves were toppled at the same stage by Wolfson College, Cambridge, who along with Balliol College, Oxford are the only two teams left in this most gladiatorial of quizzing contests. Together they have ousted an army of brainboxes, all of whom were fighting to make it to this, the Grand Final…

Brainboxes like Bobby Seagull and his Emmanuel College, vanquished by his best friend and subsequent ‘One Show’ collaborator Eric Monkman in the first semi final… The team from the University of Edinburgh, becoming only the fifth Scottish side to make the semis since 1995… The aforementioned Sophie Rudd and her Warwick captain Giles Hutchings, who clearly loved every minute they were quizzing… Bristol, Corpus Christi, Birmingham, The Open University, SOAS… A true plethora of quizzing talent was on show this series.

But before we get into the fun of reviewing the final, I will address a more serious point. This series had one hundred and twelve contestants. Eighty eight were men. Only twenty four were women. 21%. I’ve talked about this before, and I should have really talked about it more, but I wouldn’t really know what to say without repeating myself ad nauseum, and there are people who can write far more eloquently and knowledgeably than I can on the matter.

The Grand Final this year consists of eight guys, after Emmanuel’s Ward and Edinburgh’s Goddard were knocked out in the semi finals. This is a percentage of zero which makes a mockery even of the 21% in the rest of the series. Last years winning captain Hannah Woods wrote this article to try and explain the disparity, and I’d recommend reading it if you haven’t already. It says anything I’d want to say far better than I ever could.

Most of the articles about female University Challenge contestants focus deeply and confusedly on how they can be both attractive and intelligent. Surely you only get to be one, right? And even then the pretence that their brains were going to be talked about at all is pretty quickly dropped in favour of a few more paragraphs on their appearances.

This is something tonights contestants haven’t had to deal with really, apart from the odd comment questioning how someone so smart could possibly choose to wear a shirt ‘like that!’, which is fair game to a certain extent.

Balliol’s Potts has chosen for the final a shirt which some might say falls into that category, though it does serve as a welcome disruption to the monochrome system that has been implemented to his left (see picture above), the dog-frolicking and tiger-emblazoned shirts captain Joey Goldman wore in earlier rounds having been deemed too playful considering everything that was at stake.

The Wolfson team don’t have anything close to the pattern-ship of Potts, although Chaudhri has popped on a blazer for the occasion, so either he’s taking it seriously or had a job interview after the filming, while Monkman has kept the exquisitely pointed shirt collars that could have someone’s eye out accidentally during a hug.

The normally foghorn-mouthed Canadian introduces himself on this most important of occasions with remarkable restraint, only deafening the front few rows of the audience rather than the whole of Manchester like he usually does. Balliol’s Ben Pope reminds us that he’s from Sunny Sydney, not drizzly Britain, and we’re good to go.

‘Tis he who takes the opener, winning the buzzer race between his Balliol teammates, and they take all three bonuses on the ancient mathematician Hypatia (I’ve got no idea, either) with consummate ease. Twenty five to nothing. Monkman isn’t so sluggish on the next starter though, claiming ‘The Magic Flute’ with a beaming grin. Two out of three on the reptile densities of various countries. Twenty five to twenty, then Ben Chaudhri edges the Cantabrigians ahead.

They get lumbered with a bonus set on historical Earls of Orkney, a subject which even the current Earl of Orkney would probably struggle, if indeed there still is an Earl of Orkney. I’ll have to ask the Marquis of Shetland.

Another for Monkman, and a possible fifteen on chloroform, a pesky little chemical I know all too much about due to the Design Project which rendered this review four days late, though I still didn’t get any of the bonuses. Wolfson manage one of the three, then Monkman takes the picture starter, and they stretch out to forty points clear.

The steam train is brought to a halt by Pope with a supremely fast buzz, and then Monkman’s one weakness which is a symptom of his many strengths makes its first appearance of the night. With as wealth of knowledge such as that possessed by the Wolfson captain one can make guesses based on a list of possible answers before it is fully clear what is being asked for. When it works it does so in much the same way as a bird bursting out from within a bush. Natural, startling, and beautiful.

When it doesn’t, instead imagine the arm of a trombonist slowly extending to its full length (and the accompanying sound). In their previous meeting it was Balliol who fell foul of the dreaded neg, with a series high six to their name as Wolfson came out victorious. That match was won and lost with incorrect interruptions, and so too would this one.

Another neg from Monkman on the next question prompted a trademark derisive snort from The Pax, who branded it a completely useless answer, which it probably was. Potts scooped up from what was left of it and put the Oxonians back in front.

And finally, some invention! Rather than the standard ‘choose a composer from the list of four or five it could reasonably be’ music round, the question setters had saved the best for the final. A delightful set of recorded lectures in which the speaker had to be identified provided a lovely departure from the repetitive nature of most music rounds. Wolfson snaffled up the full twenty five and going into the second half we were tied. Eighty apiece.

An unfortunate neg from Monkman, in which he gave ‘Mohorovicic’ instead of ‘Moho’ allowed Goldman to stop the Balliol rot and they take back the lead. Monkman yells ‘Macbeth’ with his customary vigour, but Wolfson’s weakness on the bonuses tonight strikes again and they remain twenty points adrift. A fourth neg of the evening from the captain hands the initiative to Oxford and they bound onwards to the tune of fifty points. 165-115…

Eric continues his Jekyll and Hyde performance, taking the next starter to make it a one question game again. 165-140. The next question would prove vital. Should Wolfson get it they could draw level, but if Balliol took it that would be the match, and the title…

Monkman and Goldman botch guesses on it, so its the same situation going into another ten pointer.

A question on a Chinese dynasty.

Ming.

Goldman wins the race as he has so often this series, and that, one should expect, would be that. He waves a hand at his teammates telling them to calm down, that they haven’t won it just yet, ever the professional. But they had, and the gong confirms their triumph.

For the first time in six years the University Challenge title would be heading back to Oxford.

But before it could make its way there, it took a detour to Gonville & Cauis College, Cambridge, the 2015 winners and alma mater of Stephen Hawking, who would present it to the victorious Balliolites. With both the two teams and Jeremy Paxman enraptured to be in the presence of such a monumental mind, it is only fitting that I end this final post with a quote from his speech

“It is not clear whether intelligence has any long term survival value, but it is one of the most admirable qualities, especially when displayed by such young minds”

Final Score: Wolfson, Cam 140 - 190 Balliol, Ox

What a brilliant series. And what a brilliant match to end it on. Congratulations to Balliol, and commiserations to Wolfson, though I’m sure their tilt will still live long in the memories of viewers. Thanks to you and all of the other contestants for making this year so quizzical. And thanks to everyone who has read this blog! I’ve had a great time rambling for far too long each week on about eight people answering questions, and your comments and interactions have made it even more enjoyable. Stay strong in this Quiz-less Winter, and I’ll hopefully see you in the Summer