2022/23, Episode 1 - Bristol vs Durham

It’s been five months since the last episode of University Challenge. Until I’d calculated (9 - 4 = 5) and typed that out ten seconds ago it hadn’t really clicked that the show had been away for that long. The show hasn’t begun in August since 2006, when there were only thirty one episodes in a series rather than the thirty seven we have now with the extended quarter-final format.

One reason for this large gap could be that the format is reverting to a standard knockout for the last eight, which would be a shame, but equally it could just be that the schedulers fancied changing things up and shifting the whole series back by six weeks or so, meaning we’d have the Grand Final towards the end of May rather than the start of April.

Whatever the reason, I was glad to have The Challenge back last week, even though I wasn’t able to get this review posted until a week later. And what an episode to kick things off, with a back and forth to rival the Chuckle Brothers - as a side note, they surely choose which episode ends up being broadcast as the series opener, because it always tends to be a cracker.

A few weeks before it returned we got the big news that this would be the last series as host for veteran quizmaster Jeremy Paxman. Over the years Paxo had become beloved for his cutting responses to answers he deemed at best misguided and at worst abominably stupid. In recent years his demeanour seems to have softened, but as a tribute to his bygone scorn I’ll recap some of his most scathing moments over the next few weeks.

Replacing him is Amol Rajan, a journalist who has since 2016 been the BBC’s media editor. Various outlets have posted articles decrying his appointment. I don’t know much about him, but in reading some of these posts I have come across an article he wrote for the BBC in 2020 in which he wrote, of JK Rowling’s infamous ‘Terf Wars’ Essay, that he ‘[takes] absolutely no view whatsoever on the issues that she raises’, which is just about the most mealy-mouthed/contemporary-BBC/both-’sides’-must-be-given-equal-time/Laura-Kuenssberg/anti-journalistic thing it's possible to say about anything. All that’s left for me to say is that I take absolutely no view whatsoever on his appointment.

Anyway, we have Paxo in the hot seat for another series, so let’s get back to that shall we? Episode one of Series fifty two (Jeremy’s twenty-ninth!) featured two of the most prolific participants of the Paxman era in Bristol and Durham.

Bristol hold an unwanted Uni Challenge record in - they have made the quarter-finals more times than any other side who haven’t made the semis (if that makes sense). Seven times they’ve fallen at the anti-penultimate hurdle, which, while pretty annoying, is quite impressive in itself. Durham meanwhile are six-time semi-finalists. They’ve lost five times at that stage, but made up for it in 2000 when they smashed UMIST (remember that) before trouncing Oriel in the final to take home the trophy.

That’s enough preamble I think - so without further ado, here’s your first starter for ten.

‘Which five letter word may precede, verse, slate and look -’

BUZZ

‘Durham, Radcliffe’

‘Blank’

And there we are. The first starter of an eight month farewell tour for Jeremy Paxman. He’s asked tens of thousands of questions to thousands of students, so to him this won’t have been anything special, but, as ever, it was good to have The Challenge back.

Durham didn’t manage any bonuses on the geology of British national parks, guessing wrongly three times out of three, but their lead was quickly extended on the next starter, courtesy of Bennett, who recognised the name of the US senator famous for mixing up gazpacho with gestapo. They got their first five pointer with Mussolini, but missed Napoleon and Churchill, on the subject of novels by political leaders.

Bristol then get off the mark thanks to a nervous buzz from Ortega with single-use [plastics]. A couple of bonuses on algebra brought them within five points, but Scully hit back with the first picture starter and he took the next ten pointer too, with gamma ray burst, though the Wearsiders again struggled on the bonuses, only getting The Witcher on a set about Polish video game developers. To be fair, this was a pretty tough set, although that’s coming from someone who has only ever played FIFA and Pokemon (and Klonoa 2: Lunatea’s Veil on PS2, which was an absolute belter by the way) so maybe don’t take my word for it.

One from Ortega and another from McLaughlin get Bristol back in business, but they too are finding the bonus questions tough, taking a paltry one out of six. A second of the evening for Bennett gave Durham a forty point lead going into the music round, and from here things really took off. A great buzz from Scully of Spirited Away extended the Avonsiders lead, and from thereon out all of the difficulties both teams had been having when the buzzer wasn’t in play seemed to disappear.

Remember this - at halfway the scores were Durham 85 - 45 Bristol.

Things picked up on the very next set - with Bristol managing two out of three on Rosalba Carriera. Durham hit back and took a full set, before Bristol retaliated with one of their own for the first time this evening. One from Kehrer, along with two bonuses, and then the second picture starter with a hat-trick of its own gave them the lead for the first time in the match. One three five plays one two five. The combined score had been doubled in five questions.

No starters had been dropped thus far, but no-one is able to give the quantity which arises when multiplying torque by angular velocity (power). In fact, both teams gave answers of more than one word when Paxman had asked for a single word, so they’ve only got themselves to blame. The dry spell doesn’t last for long though, and McLaughlin’s A Tale of Two Cities helps to give Bristol their biggest lead so far

With his bell beating out Bristol’s buzzer, Scully fired back for Durham and they clawed the deficit back to ten points. McLaughlin, with his striped knitwear and nervous nail-biting, wasn’t having that, and they were quickly back out at twenty five. Kehler made it forty five, and with only minutes remaining they surely had this in the bag.

So, congratulations to Bristol on an incredible comeb-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Scully’

‘Rubik’s Cube’

‘Rubik’s Cube is correct.’

Okay, okay. Well done, and a full set on years ending in 99, well done on that, too, but we don’t have enough time left for this sort of n-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Radcliffe’

‘Horn’

‘Horn is correct’

Hang on. A pair of bonuses on Norway and this thing is tied up. What on Earth just h-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Radcliffe’

‘Simultaneous equations’

…

GONG

Final Score: Bristol 185 - 195 Durham

Phew… what a match that was. Congratulations, Durham, and not too many commiserations to Bristol yet (though they will feel gutted to have been pipped after that comeback), because they will one hundred percent be back for the playoff round. We can give them our full commiseration if they do lose that match, but it would have to be a mighty series if another team who loses first time out is better than them.

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