A Wolfson in Sheep's Clothing

I fell off my bike on the way to work this morning.

Just a minor fall, I'm completely fine, other than a few scrapes.

The greatest wound was to my pride. I've been riding a bike since I was five or something, and still managed to fully deck it in front of several groups of concerned onlookers.

Groups of concerned onlookers who were very kind and worried about my wellbeing - 'are you alright?'. Forced smile, 'Yes, I'm fine'. Embarrassed walk to collect my water bottle which had been flung down the road. 'Are you sure you're fine'.

'Yes'.

I was in a radio quiz once and buzzed in confidently to say that Ian Fleming had discovered penicillin. The cringing shrivel I felt then was the closest I can come to describing how it feels to skid on a minute amount of mud like Bambi on ice as a twenty eight year old upstanding member of society.

As a child I wore the grazes on my knees as badges of honour, and I was a real boy scout for them, but no one pats you on the head for it when you're an adult. Or when they do you feel mortified.

Anyway, tonight's first round match is the eleventh of the series and features Wolfson College, Cambridge and Warwick.

Last Appearance

Wolfson - 1R (2022)

Warwick - W (2021)

Best Appearance

Wolfson - F (2017)

Warwick - W (2007, 2021)

Wolfson are making their third appearance since Eric Monkman lead them to the 2017 final. They haven't made it past the first round since. Their opponents this evening, Warwick, won in 2021, but haven't been on the past two series.

Here's your first starter for ten.

Pan, studying for a second Masters in philosophy, buzzes in early for a question on the Ottoman Empire, but he's wrong (perhaps he should have chosen History for his second degree). Beresford scoops the points, and Warwick race to a hat-trick on the bonuses.

The exact same thing happens on the second starter, with Beresford stealing from a Pan neg. They don't do as well on the bonuses this time, but still lead by fifty. This extends thanks to Akarapongpisadki with Bartok, and they are perfect on the five pointers again.

This could be a long night for Wolfson, as Beresford takes his third starter with Gobi Desert on the first picture starter. Sometimes when I make these predictions, the team I have been disparaging immediately go on a bit of a run, but Steel-Browne negs the next starter too, and Wolfson drop down to minus fifteen, which is an achievement in itself.

When Steel-Browne gets one right next time out (fist-bumping Pan with relief), they remain in the negatives, and a blank on the bonuses leaves them there. Redemption for Pan with Campari brings them back above zero, but could they kick on, thereby ridiculing my comment after all.

If you're enjoying my cutting insights then you can subscribe here to never miss an episode (trying out the mid-post plug, which I don't usually do. If you hate the plug being here then ignore it, because I'll probably not do it again if no one signs up from it)

Another from Pan, and a perfect set of Simpsons bonuses bring Wolfson up to half of Warwick's score, and a second for Steel-Browne closes this further (as an aside, his name is like the Oxford and Cambridge Magdalen/Magdalene in that I can't seem to remember which one has an E on the end without checking). Going into the music round they are twenty back, and Pan's resurgence continues with Brahms.

Bliss stops the rot for Warwick with ale, and while there's no fist bump, they are clearly feeling some relief too. But for the moment they can't hold back the Wolfson at the door, because Pan is hungry and they're only ten points adrift.

Four in a row for Warwick, including the ace of Ash Barty from Akarapongpisadki, put them in a more commanding position following the second picture round, before Steel-Browne gave Wolfson a chance with Sharm-El-Sheikh.

Art-Nouveau from An, perhaps the only instance of an answer by a contestant which could be initialised by the letters of their name - if anyone else can think of a similar occurence like this then please let me know. I would love to know how your mind works.

Another starter from Beresford puts the game out of reach for Wolfson, but they may still have a chance of sneaking into a play-off spot if they can grab a few more starters. But Beresford isn't interested in mercy, and snaffles another ten points for himself to extinguish any hopes his opponents may have had.

Warwick 265 - 140 Wolfson

Another super high scoring match, with Wolfson being made to pay for those early interruptions. With only three first round matches left, this confirms Oxford Brookes' place in the play-offs, though with their score of 205 it was pretty much assumed already.

As for Warwick, there have been so many high scores that I know longer know what constitutes good in this landscape. Clearly 265 is decent, but its not as decent as it would have been in earlier series.

No plug here because I did it earlier, so I'll just say see you next week.