Choo Choo

The advent of the Christmas series means that I am only one week behind in getting to this episode, which is fortunate because I’m on annual leave and approximately 4 hours away from entering a wine and crisp coma.

There wouldn’t have been time to get to a second post before the hummus started calling my name. 

I’m writing this on a train, which is ironic, because the reason I didn’t do the post last week is also because I was on a train. The one I’m on now is a relatively simple affair – Manchester to Aberdeen (two changes at Preston and Glasgow), 7 hours in total. 

By the time University Challenge came on last Monday I was 12 hours into a 24 hour epic from Manchester to Zittau in East Germany.

• Manchester to London
• London to Paris
• Paris to Karlsruhe
• Karlsruhe to Dresden (sleeper)
• Dresden to Zittau

The purpose of the journey was to visit a test centre and observe a trial for work. My colleague flew (to Berlin, then a train to Zittau), but I fancied proving my eco-credentials and to see how much of an inconvenience (if any) it really was to take the train instead of flying. 

When I told colleagues I was doing this the initial reaction was ‘why the hell are you doing that?’. When I said it was for the environmental benefit some questioned the validity of that statement, so I checked to see what it actually was. I’d been assuming it was massive, but hadn’t calculated it. 

There are various ways of calculating, but it seems like it was a saving of 80–90% on emissions compared to flying. 

The plane-train journey time was 8 hours from door to door, whereas mine was 24, a 16 hour difference, which is obviously not something most people are going to want to do for a normal journey. 

But when you take into account sleeping, which you have to do either in a hotel or sleeper carriage (which was better than I thought it would be), the difference is closer to 8 hours. 

An 8 hour journey is still the focus of a day – in that you can’t really do anything other than travel. And my route meant that I got to have a nice wander around Paris, a nice dinner in Karlsruhe, and the pleasantness of being on a train the whole time, rather than sitting in an airport and then on a plane for much of the time. 

Given that most people have a very limited number of days of annual leave, it’s very hard to convince people to ‘waste’ one or two entirely on travelling. Especially when trains are criminally more expensive that flights. And this is the furthest distance where a direct train could be remotely comparable to a flight. But it is definitely possible for many locations in Europe, and I found it very enjoyable. 

If you fancy it, check out the man in seat 61, who has somehow navigated the entire European train network and has multiple options for every conceivable route. I’ll be getting the sleeper to Budapest for a friends stag do in April, and for any other work trips, most likely in West Germany, which would be slightly less onerous. 

Have any of you taken the train to Europe for work or pleasure? Let me know in the comments. 

Let’s get onto the episode now though, here’s your first starter for ten.

Immediately you notice that Smith and Smith have initials now. E. Smith and O. Smith. The most likely double surname you could have, but its still interesting.

Rajan gives some stats from Birkbeck’s first round match against Oxford Brooke’s, telling us that 82% of bonus questions were answered correctly. He also describes their mascots as ‘peculiar’. They are a duck and an owl, perhaps two of the least peculiar mascots seen on the show. 

Bachelor takes the opening starter for York, and they grab a hat-trick on Eurovision. He takes another with mid Atlantic ridge, and a couple more bonuses put them 45 points clear.

McMillan then gets Birkbeck off the mark with Simon de Montfort, and they continued their excellent bonus form with three out of three on Argand diagrams. A second for McMillan gave them the opportunity to take the lead, but they didn’t quite manage. 

York E. Smith (not the lead singer of The Fall) wins the picture starter with Thai. In the first round Roger Tilling still announced them by their initials, though their names on the desks were both simply Smith.

Huntley recognises Guys and Dolls on the next starter, winning Birkbeck a bonus set on Formula 1, which they struggle with. 

McMillan negs with ‘categorical imperative’, but he knew he was wrong before Rajan tells him. The answer is transcendental idealism, but York can’t pick this up, with O. Smith instead buzzing in with ‘atheistic existentialism’, an admirable attempt at making up a complicated sounding philosophical term. 

Not put off by his incorrect buzz, McMillan makes the points back with Harold Pinter. Huntley recognises chickpea flour as the principle ingredient in Burmese tofu, which I made a few weeks ago.

This gives them the lead for the first time in the match. No one gets the music starter, which is Eric B and Rakim. Rajan scolds them, telling them that they really should listen to more hip hop from that era. It feels sort of like when Paxman used to chastise people for not knowing obscure historical things which he thought were obvious, except instead of doing it to signify his superior intellect, Rajan is doing it to signify his superior cultural taste. 

Bachelor gets York going again with The Night Watch, before another neg from McMillan (who puts his head in his hands again) allows E. Smith another too. She then has a neg of her own, coming in with ISIS before the question mentioned that name, asking instead for Daesh, which Huntley gets. 

York need to keep up their momentum if they want to make it through, and Bachelor’s fourth starter keeps them within touching distance. 

It takes a while, but McMillan gets the next starter on Groundhog Day. 

It takes a while, but McMillan gets the next starter on Groundhog Day. 

It takes a while, etc…

A third slip up from McMillan (he’s been involved in almost every starter it seems, rightly or wrongly) gives York hope. He is a lot closer this time, giving P-O instead of P-A, but it doesn’t matter. Bachelor steals the points and a hat-trick brings them within 20 points, with one minute to go. 

O. Smith makes this 10 with Pascal. 

Two quick bonuses tie the game. 

They think they know the third – Camille Pizzaro….

Wrong. 

Gong.

Tiebreak. 

Rajan explains very pointedly that if you buzz in and get it wrong, you lose. 

Which sense organ…

Birkbeck, McMillan.

It had to be him, didn’t it. 

6 right, 3 wrong so far. 

Eye?

Rajan exhales, pauses.

But he’s only screwing with him. 

It’s correct, Birkbeck win.

What a game. What confidence from McMillan to buzz again after three negs. 

Birkbeck 165*–155 York

Commiserations to York, who put up an excellent fight. I’m looking forward to seeing Birkbeck in the quarter finals at least two more times. 

Now, who thinks I’m going to make my connection in Glasgow? The Preston-Glasgow leg has been delayed by wind and I currently have an estimated 4 minutes to make it from Central to Queen Street, which is not physically possible.

Here’s hoping that one is delayed too… okay, just checked and we are now 49 minutes behind schedule, meaning I have negative 9 minutes to sprint across town. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen...

Merry Christmas! I'll see you in the New Year.