Drink More Water

If you read last week's blog, you'll know that I drink an inordinate amount of caffeine free coke zero. But do I drink enough water...?

This story starts, as many awful stories do, with a podcast. I was listening to one about gut health, and the fact that poor bacterial biodiversity in the gut can have a material impact on the brain - and our mood. One of the recommendations to combat this was to eat at least thirty different plants every week, which feels like a lot (I have ten so far today, but will repeat a bunch tomorrow). Another thing that can affect mood is water consumption. This is something we all sort of know anyway, but is also something most of us don't tend to do anything about.

The point being that I am sat here in front of my computer, having drunk three cups of coffee and no water today, wondering why I feel so listless (despite the fact I've just noted down the ten plants I've eaten). As an experiment, I'm going to go and drink a pint of water and report back how I'm feeling, because there's no way I'm going to make it through the episode as it stands.

I am slightly loathe to admit that I do feel a lot better. I drank more than a pint and I have even more sitting next to me at my desk. The uptick might have something to do with the fact that I've put both the heating and The Menzingers on, but it seems as though the water has had an effect. Its quite infuriating that something so simple can make such a large impact. Especially when its something that everyone always goes on about.

The podcast was also going on about how blueberries can increase brain function, so maybe that can be the next experiment. I'll just have to watch an episode of UC, note down how many questions I get right, somehow forget that I've just watched the episode, drink a smoothie and then repeat the viewing. But that's probably more difficult than the pint of water thing.

Eight people who definitely do drink enough water, and probably eat plenty of blueberries, are the Jesus, Cam and UCL teams who face off in tonight's quarter-final. I wonder if the average score in a UC match would drop off if you took the water away from the desks. Or how much it would go up if you replaced it with blueberry smoothies.

Jesus have already beaten a team with 'University College' in the name, knocking Univ, Oxford out in the second round. I was hoping, as I scrolled back to their first round match, that they had also beaten a team with 'London' in the name, because that would have been very satisfying ahead of their match against UCL, but alas they had not, so I was forced to do as I often do in this blog and invent a scenario that would have been cool, had it happened.

Fortunately, UCL were party to an interesting quirk in their opening two matches. They won both 180-170, and I can confidently say that if they won by the same scoreline again it would be the only time in University Challenge history that such a hat-trick has ever happened. With my fingers tightly crossed for this eventuality, we move onto the first starter for ten - make sure you've got some bluberries and a glass of water by your side...

Fleetwood-Walker makes a reasonable guess of dog on the first question, but he loses five and Tindall takes ten from a clue about Donkey Kong. Two bonuses on Kings of England followed, before Salmon (who is surely never without, or outwith water. And if any of you wish to question the word outwith then I'll see you outside) hit back for UCL. He took the next starter too, and pulled the phrase terminological inexactitude from the ether on the bonuses.

A third ten pointer, on the deep-sea fish (surprise, surprise) the coelecanth won UCL the picture bonuses, with both sides having missed the starter, a map of Rio De Janeiro.

It looks as though the UCL skipper is going to take a fourth starter in a row, but his interruption is wrong, allowing Jesus back into the game.

The long-running battle between mother and son duo R and L Collier reignites on the next starter, with the mother drawing first blood. Another for Salmon put UCL fifty five clear going into the music round, and at the halfway stage (UCL 90-35 Jesus) I think its time to start discussing the likelihood of another 180-170.

If you doubled the scores you'd get UCL 180, which is exactly what we need, but Jesus need to get a move on. MacGregor kickstarts their charge with the music starter, but they only manage one bonus.

Demonstrating great recall regarding Jurgen Klopp's managerial career, Salmon gets a starter on Bundesliga football. The breadth of his general knowledge puts the passing range of Thiago Alcantara (I know he didn't play for Dortmund, but its in the right ballpark, isn't it) to shame. Heading into the second picture round the scores are 120-65. UCL are, again, exactly on pace at the two-thirds mark, but Jesus are going to need something special to complete the hat-trick.

A seventh for Salmon is followed by a first for Kaye, but Jesus really will need to get a move on here. MacGregor keeps them rolling with a big answer and they take two bonuses on books titled A Brief History of Blank, but you can't leap a good man down and Salmon flies onto the buzzer for an eighth ten pointer. Kaye brings Jesus into three figures, but I don't think there will be anywhere near enough time to get them up to 170.

Salmon's ninth puts UCL on 180 with seconds to go, but tragically they take a solitary bonus to ruin their streak.

Jesus, Cam 115 - 185 UCL

MVP goes to a well-hydrated Salmon. One can only begin to imagine how many blueberries he consumed before filming. Given the fact that Jesus lost, and could still come back to make the semi-finals in time for Easter, I'm going to resist making the obvious joke, but suffice it to say - I did think of it.