Eight Buffaloes

Having forgotten about the existence of traffic when booking a taxi, I missed my train to Liverpool.

I'm now on another one, but this one is significantly faster, so I'm going to have to write this in doublequick time thanks to the exceptional speed of this particular puffer. That is, indeed, if the train decides to turn back on. There was a big old judder and the engine appears to be off, which is less than ideal. No need to panic though, because we're off now. I've done these in 35 mins before, but never while moving at such high velocity, so let's see how we get on.

Durham and Royal Holloway played in the quarter finals, and now they play again in the semi finals. This happened because Durham had already played Bristol (in the first round) and Southampton (also the quarters) so there was going to be a rematch no matter what. It feels strange that they chose to go with this one, or maybe it was done at random, because Royal Holloway find themselves in the unique position of playing the same opposition two games in a row, which I don't think has ever happened in the history of the show.

Holloway won that game (and are the only side to have made the semis without having lost), but Durham will have been disappointed by their performance and are out for revenge as they seek to become the first finalists of Paxman's final series. Here's your first starter for ten...

Radcliffe opens the scoring with a guess of HMS Endeavour, and they take two bonuses on popular science books. The Durham skipper takes another, recognising various gazes from a list of their users (male, post-colonial, white etc). Bonuses on film featuring cows follow, but they struggled, taking none. I took none too, even though I saw one of the films in question, First Cow, last year. For some reason the description of it didn't tally with my memories of the film until the title was revealed, an experience I shared with Durham's Scully, given his similar confusion upon being told.

Bea Bennett, one of the best names in the competition, continues Durham's good start with Iago. They are fifty five clear going into the first picture starter, which goes to Holloway's Harvey for their first points of the night. They come close to getting two bonuses, but Harvey sidesteps the correct answer on the third, leaving them with a single.

Radcliffe takes his third with buffalo, as in the sentence 'buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo', which is apparently a grammatically correct sentence. I have heard of this before, and remember understanding the explanation, but it does always seem like a bit of a cheat. Or perhaps that's just because I prefer another sentence with consecutive words, which my Dad taught me years ago. A painter asks the landlord of The George and Dragon where exactly he wants his damaged sign repainted. The landlord replies 'Between George and and and and and dragon'. Much more satisfying and easy to follow, I think. Plus, the question remains - which buffalo was Radcliffe answering with, and was it the same one Paxman was asking for?

So, you'll probably have guessed, given that this is coming out on a Sunday, that I didn't get it finished on the train. But its really hot outside now and I still want to get it done quickly, so let's hop back in and find a finalist.

After the buffalo question, Harvey wins some points for Holloway with Gallium, but they don't get any bonuses and build no momentum. Scully shoots back with Olga Tokarczuk to keep Durham going. As an aside, I saw an adaptation of her novel Drive Your Plow Over The Bones of the Dead at the Lowry a few weeks ago and it was one of the best pieces of art I have ever consumed. If it had been playing more dates I would already have mentioned it here in rapturous tones, but it was coming to the end of its run.

No one gets the music starter. Durham win the bonuses thanks to Radcliffe, but manage none of them either. They extend their lead with a few more starters, and Holloway will have to do something pretty impressive to come back at this stage. When Bennett recognises a picture of Truman Capote its game over.

With nothing at stake, Holloway go on a fifty-five to minus five run to close the match, having a bit of fun with a bonus set on philosophers, but in the end it makes no difference to the result.

Durham 160 - 90 Royal Holloway

Holloway needed to play their socks off to beat this Durham side a second time, and unfortunately they weren't quite at it on the buzzer. But a semi final is an incredible achievement, and they have to be super proud of making it this far (always feels a bit patronising to say that, but I mean it earnestly). Durham, meanwhile enter the final full of confidence, having returned to the serene procession they were experiencing before their quarter-final blip.

They've beaten both of the remaining semi finalists already, but as we saw here, past performances aren't necessarily predictive.