Humble Pie

One of my favourite daydreams is to imagine how well I would fare if I was placed in an elite sporting environment. Like, if I was given a contract to play up front for Arsenal, could I score a goal over the course of a season. Or if I was given a wildcard to Wimbledon would I win a single point in the inevitable 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 thrashing?

Both of these scenarios assume a level of obliviousness from the other parties involved in the game - the opposing tennis player would have to believe at all times that I was at least a professional level player, or they'd start playing differently.

Likewise, my teammates would need a certain amnesia between passages of play or they'd simply stop passing to me and I'd have no chance whatsoever. The allure of this fantasy is the idea that I would score a goal, or miraculously win a point, and a part of me genuinely thinks I'd have a shot.

But in reality these ships have sailed - no amount of training would put me in a position to attempt these even at the lowest level.

Watching Luke Littler rock the darts world at 16, I wondered whether, given 10-15 years of solid practice, I could chuck a few 180s, but that feels like quite the undertaking.

When you boil it down, what I'm craving is competition - it doesn't really matter if I'm playing against the best tennis players in the world, so long as I'm playing.

But in the field of quizzing, I have just lately been given the opportunity to live out this dream. LearnedLeague is an online quizzing league where you compete against other similarly matched quizzers in seasons lasting 25 rounds. There is promotion and relegation, and in theory you could end up facing the best of the best in the end of year champions tournament. So, finally, I have had the chance to face off against top class opposition in a competitive environment.

And how have I fared? Well, 6 matches in and I am languishing in 20th of the 26 person league. What a rush. Finally, the proof that I am not cracked up to be an elite sportsperson (at least not yet...), and that's fine.

Eight people who'd probably (look, I'm still doing it, where does this confidence come from?) beat me were on telly at 8.30 on Monday night as Sheffield took on Birkbeck in a loser-goes-home quarter final.

Falling into the trap set by the question setters, Nail buzzed in with Bad after a clue about a Michael Jackson album, but it was one of three clues about The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, so he lost five points. McMillan picked them up and Birkbeck smashed out a hat-trick on the bonuses.

Their set was on the subject of Japanese food, so Rajan congratulates them by saying that they must eat a lot of Japanese food. And that might be the case, but its symbolic of Rajan's perceived beliefs on information acquisition, which requires absolute direct contact with a subject in order to know something about it. Obviously that does help, and this is quite a pedantic point to make, but its something I've noticed Rajan do a number of times.

Another starter and two bonuses put Birkbeck 50 points clear, before Sheffield surfaced and grabbed a full set of their own. Kitchen sink dramas from Huntley seized back the initiative for Birkbeck, and McMillan continued their excellent start with Camus on the picture starter.

McMillan falls on his own sword with a neg on the next starter, which Nail hits on the head. Rujak grimaces when Rajan tells them their bonuses will be on composers of video game music, but her teammates obviously play a tonne of video games because they get all three. She takes another starter and Sheffield take the lead going into the music round, which is dropped by both teams.

Seven Samurai from McMillan (he must have been involved on the production of the movie) takes the lead back for Birkbeck, and Huntley extends the lead with Somerset. Two more on the trot from that man McMillan (whose past lives now include that of a courtier in the time of Louis XIV and a high-level mathematician) put the London side 65 points clear going into the second picture round.

Stopping the rot with Maryland, Colclough gives Sheffield a chance, and zinc from Rujak makes it real, but Chadha comes in with Aaron Schwarz when his team really needed him, and Birkbeck are back in control. A sixth starter from McMillan seals it, though Sheffield keep at it in the closing moments to reach a very respectable 160.

Birkbeck 200 - 160 Sheffield

So its bye bye to Sheffield, the first team to exit the quarter finals. They can take great solace from the fact they posted back to back 160s in their two defeats - sometimes you just don't make it over the line. Birkbeck, meanwhile, stay alive, and have another bite at the apple in the coming weeks.

Thanks for reading; I'll see you next time for Trinity vs UCL, which should be a barnstormer.