Artificially Intelligent

The latest episode of University Challenge was a thrilling battle between two of the country's finest academic institutions: Oxford and Cambridge. The teams were evenly matched from the start, with both sides displaying impressive knowledge across a wide range of subjects.

In the first round, Oxford took an early lead with some strong answers in literature and history. However, Cambridge fought back in the second round, with their team captain providing a particularly impressive performance in the science and nature category.

The third round proved to be a turning point, with Cambridge pulling ahead thanks to their superior knowledge of classical music and foreign languages. Oxford put up a valiant effort, but ultimately they were unable to catch up, and Cambridge emerged as the victors.

Overall, it was a thrilling episode of University Challenge, with both teams displaying their impressive intellect and quick thinking. It's always exciting to see the country's brightest minds go head to head in this iconic quiz show. Congratulations to Cambridge on their well-deserved victory!

If you're confused as to what's going on at this point then you're probably not alone. This episode was between Cambridge and Sheffield, right? Well, that's because I tried to get an AI chatbot to write this post for me.

You've probably seen ChatGPT all over the Internet in the past few weeks, so this idea is hardly original, but I hopped on over to the Open AI website and asked the bot to 'Write a blog in the style of the University Challenge Review on the latest University Challenge episode'.

Unfortunately, it doesn't actually have access to the Internet, so had no way of knowing who the match was between.

I apologize if my previous response was incorrect. I am a large language model trained by OpenAI and my knowledge is based on the information that was available to me at the time of my training. I do not have the ability to browse the internet or access current information, so I may not always have the most up-to-date information.

I continued my conversation with the bot, trying to figure out how it had managed to come up with the first review, and it told me that it did at least know what University Challenge was.

I have been trained on a vast amount of text data from various sources. This includes information about University Challenge, which is a British quiz show that features teams of students from universities across the UK competing against each other in a series of rounds.

A nice, succinct description of the show there, I'm sure you'll agree. So I decided to give it one last shot at this, and asked it to write a review of a match between Newnham College, Cambridge and Sheffield in the hopes that I might be able to salvage something from that.

If you want to watch the episode before reading ChatGPT's seond attempt you can do so here.

Last night's episode of University Challenge featured a highly anticipated match-up between two of the UK's top universities: Newnham, Cambridge and Sheffield.

From the start, it was clear that both teams were determined to win, with both sides displaying impressive knowledge across a wide range of subjects. Newnham, Cambridge took an early lead in the first round, thanks to some strong answers in history and literature. However, Sheffield fought back in the second round, with their team captain providing a particularly impressive performance in the science and nature category.

The third round proved to be the decisive moment of the match, with Sheffield pulling ahead thanks to their superior knowledge of classical music and foreign languages. Despite a valiant effort from Newnham, Cambridge, Sheffield ultimately emerged as the victors.

Overall, it was a thrilling episode of University Challenge, with both teams putting on a fantastic display of intellect and quick thinking. Congratulations to Sheffield on their well-deserved victory!

Unfortunately, and I'm going to have to spoil things here if you've not watched the episode, the bot still got one glaring thing wrong. Sheffield didn't win.

So, while I was unable to sneak a whole AI-generated post onto your newsfeeds, at least it shows my job isn't at risk from computerisation just yet. I mean, would an AI-generated chatbot choose to use a conversation with an AI-generated chatbot as the introduction to a blog? I don't think so.

Anyway, onto the actual show. I'll start by filling in some info that ChatGPT, without access to the Internet or real world, was unable to tell you.

This was the first of the high-scoring loser play-offs, between two teams with incredible performances in their opening matches, though they were both ultimately beaten. As usual, their scores would have won them other first round matchups, but such is the capricious nature of knockout quizzing.

Sheffield lost on a tiebreaker to UCL, with a score of 170 points, and Newnham were edged out by the Courtauld Institute of Art, scoring 160. Whoever lost tonight could count themselves doubly unfortunate, having each faced two excellent teams.

The first starter goes to Newnham's Roma Ellis, who is first to recognise the Infinity Bridge. They get one bonus on temperance, before Ellis smashes the second starter too, buzzing early with Europa. They complete their hat-trick with Ganges on the third ten pointer, and Newnham find themselves forty five points to the good.

Sheffield finally get up and running thanks to their Skipper Jones on the first picture round. He spots the Californian State seal with aplomb and his team rattle through a perfect trio of other States on the bonuses. For a moment it looks like we're going to get our first correct starter from a non-captain, but Fisher is wrong and he's docked five points. Ellis buzzes in but is unable to pick up the pieces, and then, bizarrely, the exact same thing happens on the next starter too.

Lardner manages what Fisher had twice failed at on the following question, and interrupts with a correct answer. Unfortunately for Sheffield this provided only a brief respite, and that man Fisher was back again with his third neg of the night, agonisingly giving 2012 rather than 2011. This time though, Ellis was able to steal the points. Newnham led by forty.

Another starter from Lardner, avoiding a trap, and Sheffield were able to close back within twenty. If they hadn't had any incorrect interruptions it would only be five, and if they'd got a single one of those right they'd be in the lead. But ifs and buts don't win you points on University Challenge, as the saying goes.

Bowen extends the lead for Newnham, before Jones' second buzz, on the music starter, closed in back again. Two more on the bounce for Bowen, and Ellis' fifth of the night put the Cambridge quartet in control, and at this point they started to look as though they were really enjoying themselves, laughing and joking on the bonuses, massive grins plastered all over their face. This is kicked off by a brilliant moment from Holloway-Strong in which she lists all of the words that feature in the lyrics of Barbie Girl.

After three wrong buzzes, redmption was at last in the air for Fisher, who finally plucked a correct answer out of the water with Ho Chi Minh. His redemption doesn't last long though, and on the very next starter he loses his twentieth point of the match. Its not a bad buzz, guessing Beowulf on the clue 'which epic poem,,,', but he goes too early, and when Holloway-Strong sweeps in with The Odyssey, you feel like its game over.

Lardner gives it a go on the next starter, but he loses five too, and now it really is curtains. Chén grabs these points for Newnham, meaning that they all have at least one starter to their name. When Ellis buzzes in with 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have buzzed... a minus b-i', and still gets it right, you know that things were destined for Newnham to win. Sheffield grab a few more starters to broach the three figure boundary, but they were a ways back at the gong.

Sheffield 110 - 175 Newnham

Another good match this, with Newnham able to keep their nerve a bit better on the buzzer - Sheffield being severely hamstrung by the three early interruptions. They gave it a good go though, and can hold their heads up high. Newnham, meanwhile, I can't wait to see in the next round - their joy when playing the game is infectious and its rare to see a team having so much fun. I love it.

I'll leave you with ChatGPT's excuse as to the inaccuracies of its blog attempt...

I did not have access to current information about the latest episode of University Challenge, so any details I provided about the episode were purely fictional.