Salmon Fishing in the Sheff Mine

About a month ago I wrote a blog entitled 'How to Write a Blog Post', in which I tried to write a blog post using the tips I'd gleaned from an article entitled 'How to Write a Blog Post'. One of the tips not mentioned in that particular article, but which I've seen in plenty of others is that if you want to build an audience then you need to be consistent with your output.

Reader, I have not been.

A few times a series I fall off the horse with this blog for a few weeks and struggle to chase it down (horses are generally quicker than people, and I am generally slower than people). Having been out of my house for the past three Mondays (I know its been on on Tuesdays too, but I've been away for them as well) I haven't even watched the last two of the trio I need to catch up on writing about. In the past, I would sometimes batch my missed episodes into one big review because it was easier, and I may well still do that, but for the moment I'm not planning on it.

With that in mind - here's your first starter for ten. If you haven't already done so you can watch the episode here before reading the blog.

Some good news for you now - this is the episode I've already watched, so you are in for a treat!

Sheffield have made three semi finals in the Paxman Era, and lost the 2008 final to Christ Church, Oxford. UCL, meanwhile, have four semi finals and two finals under their belt, losing to Corpus Christi, Oxford in 2005 and Manchester in 2013.

And hang on a second, in the aforementioned blog post about blog posts, I gave a huge (and probably nonsensical) spiel about how Glasgow and Queen's had both been on the show eleven times prior to this series, and how that was probably the largest number of prior appearances shared by two first round opponents in the history of the show. I'll quote the bit below but I'm not sure it will make any more sense to you... Skip over it if you feel the need.

Glasgow have made only one quarter-final appearance in eleven series throughout the Paxman Era, but have been a staple of recent years, only failing to show up for the first round in one of the last eight tournaments. Queen’s, meanwhile, have also been on the show eleven times, but have three quarter finals to their name.

I keep saying that I’m going to learn how to code, and one of the things I could do fairly easily if I had done that would be to tell you whether or not eleven was the highest number of appearances shared by two teams in a match of University Challenge.

Durham played Edinburgh in the second round in 2020-21, at which point it was Durham’s 21st appearance and Edinburgh’s 20th, so there have been matchups with a higher total number of appearances, but have two teams ever shared a number which was higher than eleven?

Two more points now:

1. Did that even make sense?

2. Was it more boring than the introduction?

Anyway, the point here is that Sheffield and UCL have both been on fourteen times.

None of the Sheffield team are related, which wouldn't normally be a thing that you needed to point out, but the UCL team are. Not all of them, mind, just the two Colliers, but don't worry, I won't be mining that for laughs.

Neither of the Colliers gets the first starter, which goes to Sheffield's Fisher (at this point you really have to fear for UCL captain Salmon), and the Yorkshire quartet manage a hat-trick on apples (something William Tell would have been proud of). Salmon, struggling for the moment in the presence of a predator, negs the next starter to put UCL in the minuses, and Lardner picks up the pieces for Sheffield.

However, the swiping Fisher must have missed, because Salmon escaped upriver and he soon took the first of the three starters he would take this evening. A full set on astronomy closed the gap going into the first picture round, which went to Fleetwood-Walker, who somehow managed to recognise a map of Plymouth. Another hat-trick and they were in the lead.

In the Battle of the Colliers, first blood went to Louis, leaving Rachel in his dust. For the first time they struggled on the bonuses, getting none on the Bafta Rising Star award. Not content to see her son taking all the plaudits, Rachel hit back and it was one all in Collier vs Collier.

Not knowing the answer to a bonus on art, Fleetwood-Walker announced that he was recusing himself, which was both brilliant and charming. I think more contestants should hold their hands up and let their teammates get on with it when they know they don't have an absolute bloody clue.

UCL are really in the swing of things now, and their groove is only helped by a ridiculously easy bonus set on words which differ by the addition of the letters 'D-I' at the start (graph, digraph, lute, dilute, ode, diode). As if the clue to the first word in each instance wasn't easy enough, they also gave you the clue to the second. I don't think any of the teams on the show would fail to get a hat-trick here, which makes the set a bit redundant in my eyes.

Fueled by annoyance at his prey having eluded him, Fisher sparks Sheffield back into life with Cezanne and he buzzes in very quickly on the music starter too. This time it backfires , because he reckons Miles Davis is playing the saxophone. L. Collier thinks its Louis Armstrong though, so we have to wait for the bonuses, which go to Sheffield.

Just after halfway the scores are Sheff 70 - 125 UCL, but Fisher flies into the next starter and cuts the deficit to forty five. A difficult bonus set on mathematics left them with nothing, and the gains were quickly chiselled away by R. Collier on the next starter (R 2 - 1 L)

An untimely neg from L. Collier left the door open for Sheffield on a poetry starter, and Fisher looked across at Lardner, clearly considering a buzz (indeed his hand hovered up and down a few times) before leaving it to his teammate, who correctly gave Robert Browning. Two bonuses gave Sheffield the lead, before an L. Collier redemption in the form of the answer nineteen.

UCL back ahead - 145-140

A hat-trick on precious metals - 160-140

Fisher - 150-160

Two bonuses on Upton Sinclair - 160-160

Salmon - 170-160

A single bonus on French départements - 175-160

Incorrect interruption from L. Collier! 170-160

Lardner - 170-170

GONGGGGGG

We have a tiebreak (I understand that this happened weeks ago so some of the excitement may have worn off, but I've just rewatched the ending and it still got me buzzing)

Modena, Parma and Ferrara are among cities in which - BUZZ - Italian region?

Its difficult to tell when watching at full speed, but Fleetwood-Walker definitely buzzes in before he can know for sure what the question in asking, and boy does he deliver.

Emilia-Romagna

Sheffield 170 - 180 UCL

R Collier* 2 - 2 L Collier

(*R Collier wins on incorrect interruptions)

What a game that was! Two incredible teams, and Sheffield will be back for sure in the play-offs, where I wouldn't want to be their opponents. Congratulations to the Colliers for becoming the first mother and son to win an episode of University Challenge, and congratulations to Salmon in his own personal battle against Fisher.

Join me next time (because it looks as though I'm doing these all separately) for more weak puns based on the names of the contestants (if the opportunity presents itself, which it rarely does to the level it did on this episode)