The Blind Side

In Michael Lewis' The Blind Side, we are told the story of Michael Oher, a homeless schoolboy who went on to become a Superbowl champion. One of the reasons for his success was his size - he was incredibly big and incredibly fast. Another was that in the years preceding his ascendence, the National Football League had evolved so that people who were both incredibly big (like, very incredibly big) and incredibly fast were now among the most desirable players in the whole sport.

If he had been born twenty years earlier, there would have been no real place for him in the NFL. 'Left Tackle', the position he made his name at, was very low in the hierarchy of a franchise, and very poorly paid. But in the years before he was drafted, some teams made their Left, or Blind Side, Tackle, the highest paid player on the roster. Their importance to the overall success of the team was massive, and it had pretty much only come about due to the terrorizing influence of one man.

Lawrence Taylor was a linebacker, which meant that his job was to try and take out the opposing team's quarterback (if you are unfamiliar with American Football this is the player who throws the ball all the time. Just realised that if you are unfamiliar with American Football then that description probably won't help either. Um... they're like the engine... yes, that's better. They're like the engine of a robot which has been specifically designed to throw balls all the time). He was really good at this. So good infact, that a new role had to be specifically invented to put a stop to him.

And that is how Michael Oher became subject of a national soap opera over where he would go to College, and earned tens of millions of dollars over the course of his career by stopping one guy from getting to another guy. Its a story of randomness, shifting incentives, and the neverending cycle of supply and demand (its also a story of human compassion, love and beauty in the face of tireless adversity. I highly recommend it, even if you had no idea what a quarterback was until my fantastic explanation in the above paragraph).

The point of all this is to ask a question - if the landscape of University Challenge were to shift overnight such that questions on a certain subject were massively favoured, or at least to the extent that you knew there'd be a few every episode, what subject would give you the best shot at becoming British Quizzing's Michael Oher. This is different (albeit only slightly), to the question of what your specialist subject would be on Mastermind (if that were the question then this would be a Mastermind blog), because this allows for no revision.

You'd have to turn up tomorrow and be instantly brilliant (I know this isn't exactly the same scenario, because Michael Oher did have to practice loads, and indeed he worked incredibly hard, but not every analogy can be perfect, despite what you might think after my quarterback one), which makes this sort of like a Slumdog Millionaire/UC crossover too, because the answers would be falling into your lap.

I'd have to go something to do with Premier League football, or Arctic Monkeys lyrics. Or vegan cheese brands if it had to be a bit more niche.

It seems as though Durham's Scully and Holloway's Brown are already playing the game on this elevated plane, with bucketloads of starters to their name coming into this match. Whichever of the two had the best match would likely decide who won the first semi-final place.

First blood goes to Scully, with The Crucible, and Durham took two on the opening bonuses. He takes his second with Johnny, following a brief panic where he lost track of what was being asked (very nearly saying Johnny Cash, by the looks of it, which Paxman would surely have denied). Going for the hat-trick with Pericles, he instead loses five points, allowing Brown in for her first of the evening.

Radcliffe grabs the first picture starter, an extract of music from Peter and the Wolf. They take all three of the bonuses with ease, giving the instruments on which some of the leifmotifs are played as well despite this not being part of the question. A neg from Abramovich gave Radcliffe the opportunity to take another.

Attempting a hat-trick of his own, Radcliffe also fumbled. He did so too on the next starter, but Holloway were unable to capitalise on either. An incorrect buzz would have given him a hat-trick of negs, but he was right this time, with brassica, and even at this early stage you feel like Holloway might have missed their chance.

Another for Brown makes immediate mockery of my attempts at premonition, but they can't make significant inroads, and Margaux gets Hairspray on the music starter to steal back the momentum. A fourth Durham neg, from Scully this time, gave Holloway yet another opportunity, but once again they failed to take advantage.

This, clearly, was a rope-a-dope tactic, because they took three starters in a row, closing the gap to fifteen points. It wouldn't have been fair sport, picking up after Durham's mistakes, would it? They had to make things a bit harder for themselves.

Finally, just at the precise moment I finished typing that sentence, they did steal some points from Durham. A third Scully neg was grabbed by Harvey and there was now only five points in it.

Touchdown Abramovich! Holloway lead!

I really wasn't expecting this! Hence all of the exclamation marks!

Brown! Holloway are twenty clear. Oh my gosh they've done it!

Royal Holloway are Superbowl champions!

Durham 100 - 125 Royal Holloway

Wow! That result has come as a huge surprise to me, which makes it all the more magnificent. Based on their previous three matches this is one of the biggest upsets I can remember in University Challenge.

Correct me if I'm exaggerating, but mega props to Holloway, who become our first semi-finalists. Durham still have a chance to make it, but they'll have to come through a tough all-or-nothing matchup to do so.